Resident Evil: Retribution (Review)

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Resident Evil: Retribution is directed by Paul W.S. Anderson staring Milla Jovovich and it is an adaptation of  the popular Resident Evil video game series, the movie came out in 2012 and I passed on it back then because I was smart but I guess today I said fuck it, lets watch this garbage.

The film follows Alice played by Jovovich and her quest to destroy Umbrella corporation, most of the film’s events takes place in an underwater facility that has a bunch of simulation in it of popular real life locations like New York, Tokyo, Moscow and I guess a suburban location too, I did get the sense that he likes that whole a bunch of cities in one place like he did in the 3rd movie which was in Vegas but this was easier just make a place that has four cities in it why the hell not, at the beginning of the film Alice tells us all of the things that happened in the story before that point and it was done in a powerpoint style presentation but it gets the job across. after the really really bad green screen opening of the movie we find our hero in a jail cell and they play some loud noises to get information out of her like “who are you working for?” even though to a big corporation like Umbrella that question should be easy to answer because there is NO ONE LEFT IN THE WORLD SO WHO DO YOU THINK SHE IS WORKING FOR?? but that is not all there is more, suddenly Wesker hacks into the facility and inside her cell a drawer opens up and in it is a full set of perfectly fit clothes inside it, please remember that was INSIDE HER CELL!!! any way she leaves the cell and the same wall of lasers that was in the first film follows her, it is like Paul W.S. Anderson had a good idea back then and has to make sure he puts it in every one of these films.I could go on about the story just know that somehow she escapes the facility and goes to the White House with Wesker in the Oval Office waiting for her to tell her “this is the last stand of humanity, Albert Wesker is the president of United States now, still better than Donald Trump.

This movie is a proof that in Hollywood if you have the right connections you can still make movies otherwise nothing can explain why Paul W.S. Anderson still has a job there, if you check his movies on RottenTomatoes he hasn’t made a single movie with a Fresh rating everything this guy made is really really bad, every action scene is stolen from The Matrix during the last scene he puts couple of X-Ray bones breaking in it which wasn’t in the movie before just out of nowhere here are some X-Ray bones breaking and that is probably was inspired by Mortal Kombat that came out in 2011 and Paul probably was like let me just add a few scenes of that. let me add another issue all of the scenes that takes place in a frozen place has characters speaking without any steam coming out of their mouthes when they talk and breath, I mean I didn’t expect the room to be refrigerated like The Hateful Eight did or the movie to be shot on a frozen lake but at least CGI it like Social Network did, The monster kills a bunch of people but kidnaps a little girl for no reason whats or ever just so Alice would chase it and when she finds her she is in some kind of disgusting bag perfectly fine with no scratch on her and IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!, pitiful.

Verdict : There is nothing good to be said about Resident Evil Retribution, it is one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and I have to disagree with people who say no movie/game should get a Zero out of Ten because it functions, you wouldn’t say the same thing about a car that drives fine but at a random time blows up now would you? (0.0/10.0)

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Author: Aza Jabar

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